For U.S. Residents Only

Caring for Yourself

Caring for yourself is as essential to caring for your loved one as it is to your own health and well-being. Remind yourself that you deserve care and love, too. You will not be able to help the person with lung cancer if you don't take care of yourself.

Here are some suggestions for taking good care of yourself:
  • Find the right balance between self-care and caregiving. It's okay to set emotional and physical limits on the care you provide. In fact, you'll be doing your loved one a disservice if you don't. Try not to do the things that your loved one is capable of doing. Instead, help him or her to accomplish things, even if that means coming to terms with personal limitations. Taking too much control away can make an person with lung cancer feel less able to cope with their disease.

  • Don't let caregiving become all consuming. Make sure you keep in touch with your friends and take part in activities you enjoy. Caregivers often become so busy helping with the activities of daily living (ADLs) of a person with cancer that they have no time or energy left to do normal, fun things. Some caregivers even feel guilty when they do enjoy themselves. Time for yourself can refresh you so that you are able to continue to care for your loved one.

  • Say "no" and mean it. Remember that you can be a loving and thoughtful caregiver and still value yourself enough to set limits on your time. Be honest with your loved one, as well as with family and friends, as to how much you can handle alone. In the long run, saying "no" may help you preserve the precious energy you'll need to say "Yes, I can do this!" during difficult times.

  • Get enough sleep. A good night's sleep can refresh you and allow you to function during a long day of caregiving. If your loved one frequently requires attention during the night and you can't afford outside help, ask a family member or friend to come over during the day so you can take a nap and catch up on the sleep you need.

  • Give yourself a gift. Find a simple way every day to remind yourself how important you are. Write yourself an encouraging note. Listen to music you enjoy. Buy a small but fun item. Think of the ways you show others they are special to you, then do the same for yourself!

  • Recognize the warning signals of stress. Many caregivers can reach a point where they wonder if they can continue to provide care—a completely natural and expected reaction. If this feeling intensifies or persists, however, please reach out right away for professional help from a doctor, nurse, social worker, or member of the clergy. Be aware of the warning signs of caregiver stress that may signal a need for professional help:
    • Denial about a problem or reaction
    • Irritability or anger
    • Withdrawal or isolation from friends and family
    • Feeling anxious
    • Depression
    • Fatigue or exhaustion
    • Difficulty sleeping
    • Difficulty concentrating
    • Development of or preoccupation with your own health problems

    Many caregivers may experience some or all of these emotions during their loved one's illness. Reaching out for help when these feelings are just beginning is a good idea!

Sources of Information

There are many organizations that provide information and support for caregivers and families of people with cancer. You may contact them by phone, mail, or on the Internet.
  • CarePathways.com
    Absher Associates LLC
    c/o CarePathways.com
    P.O. Box 1797
    Kitty Hawk, NC 27949
    1-800-259-9591
    1-252-441-9141
    http://www.carepathways.com
    An Internet community created and maintained by registered nurses (RNs) that provides access to caregiving information and services and offers an online tool for assessing care needs.

  • Caregiver.com
    6365 Taft Street, Suite #3003
    Hollywood, FL 33024
    1-954-893-0550
    http://www.caregiver.com
    Publishes Today's Caregiver magazine and offers a Web site with information and support for caregivers.

Additional Resources

Knowing where to find credible and accurate information about caregiving is an important step toward making life better for yourself and your loved one. The following resources may help:

The Fearless Caregiver: How to Get the Best Care for Your
Loved One and Still Have a Life of Your Own
Gary Berg (editor)
Capital Books Inc.
ISBN: 1892123436, 264 pages
2001

The Magic of Humor in Caregiving
James R. Sherman
Pathway Books
ISBN: 093553816X, 80 pages
1996